This is my first film review. I thought I’d just pick any old film and write about it, just to see if I can do it. This one happened to be on not too long ago and I thought it would be a pretty easy one to begin with and see how it goes. Right then…

Tenacious D in the Pick Of Destiny (2006)

Director: Liam Lynch

Jack Black and Kyle Gass’s semi-autobiographical rock comedy attempts to tell the story of Tenacious D through the band’s own eyes, at the same time showcasing their obvious musical talent without appearing too obnoxious. In that sense it succeeds, as you can tell they have tried to focus more on the comedic aspect of the story with occasional musical interludes rather than overwhelm the viewer with track after track from the movie’s own soundtrack. The out-and-out laugh factor, however, is sometimes where the film suffers.

The film starts strongly, depicting a young Jack Black (Or “JB”, as he’s referred to in the film, and on occasions as “Jables”), as a rock-loving kid rebelling against his overly religious parents in the town of Kickapoo, Missouri. Played by teen actor Troy Gentile (Who you may remember also playing a younger version of Black’s character in Nacho Libre), JB sets the pace as we are treated to an all-singing introduction in which Gentile lip-syncs blasphemous lyrics intertwined with devilish guitar riffs, over-voiced by Black.

We have Meatloaf playing JB’s dad, who sends him to his room where he prays not to God, but to a poster of Ronnie James Dio (played by himself). The poster – naturally – comes to life and speaks to JB, ultimately telling him to leave his home for Hollywood where he “will form a strong alliance, and the world’s most awesome band”. Sadly Jables has the misfortune of unwittingly travelling to each and every other Hollywood in the United States before ultimately reaching California, by which time he has aged considerably and the film jumps to a present day Jack Black exiting a bus and finding himself in Hollywood. He glances at a tarot reader’s cards on a table which provides the theme for the opening credits. Throw in some religious imagery and tense background music, and the viewer is ready for a rock and roll epic of biblical proportions.

Unfortunately, the opening five minutes sets the bar very high for the rest of the film, which starts to fizzle out pretty much instantly. Next we have the first meeting between the two main characters in which JB stumbles upon KG (Yep, you’ve guessed it; Kyle Gass), who is busy busking on the beach. Initially KG takes an annoyance to him but as he launches into an impressive acoustic medley of various classical pieces, JB joins in with some improvised vocals and the two stare at each other with a realisation. Which is nice, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that it’s so… predictable.

The pace of the film then drops considerably as you realise you’re watching a straight comedy with the odd song thrown in rather than The D’s version of Spinal Tap – a film that had the perfect balance between comedy gold and rock and roll awesomeness. JB gets mugged while sleeping on a park bench in a scene which is a bizarre tip of the hat to A Clockwork Orange, is subsequently “rescued” by KG, and they move in together. JB idolises his new companion and begs KG for a chance to be in his band ‘The Kyle Gass Project’, which he is eventually granted. Despite failing KG’s ‘gig simulator’, (A mock-up of a stage in Kyle’s living room, complete with a cardboard cutout audience), KG agrees to teach his secrets to Jables, who discovers a secret of his own about KG when he finds out that he is not actually a musician at all, he has in fact for the last 10 years been living off of cheques from his mother, who decides she has had enough and stops sending him money.

Strapped for cash, the duo decide to enter a local Battle of the Bands competition and win the prize money in order to pay their rent. At the audition, JB gives what he believes to be a great performance only to be informed by the club’s manager that it was simply “okay”. Not satisfied, JB convinces Kyle that they must write “a fuckin’ masterpiece” in order to win the main event a week later. While looking through old rock magazines for some inspiration to cure their writer’s block, they discover that all of their rock idols used the same guitar pick, and set off on a journey to acquire the aforementioned pick.

Ben Stiller cameos as the guitar store attendant who informs the two that the item they are looking for is the “Pick of Destiny”, a plectrum crafted by an ancient master craftsman from a piece of Satan’s tooth, which gives it’s holder the ‘power of rock’. Stiller’s brief appearance is nice, but such is the predictable nature of the film that from the point he appears on screen I immediately find myself waiting for Owen Wilson to turn up. They then learn of the pick’s whereabouts at the Rock and Roll History Museum in Sacramento, and so they borrow a car from their only fan and friend, a pizza delivery guy called Lee, and set off to rob the museum.

Pretty soon (Surprise surprise), there is a disagreement between the two leading to the inevitable breakup where they go their separate ways, (Kyle joins some hot girls at a sorority party and JB decides to continue the mission on his own but ends up lost in the woods where he inadvertently stumbles upon some silver-striped mushrooms), before they inevitably reform in time to successfully complete the mission and steal the pick of destiny.

Satan unavoidably shows up at the film’s climax, played by Dave Grohl. The ensuing rock-off between The D and the beast serves as a fitting reference to the band’s 2001 single “Tribute”. Although it doesn’t actually sound anything like that song.

The film goes downhill after a promising start. The opening sequence is one of the film’s best moments but it fails to provide a taste of things to come. As a whole, the film sets itself up but ultimately fails to deliver. There are a couple of high points; JB’s daydream where he envisions himself and KG performing “Master Exploder” and literally melting the brain of one of the audience members was nicely done and a perfect example of the balance between comedy and rock and roll which the opening sequence promised throughout.

Kyle Gass pretty much plays the straight man to Jack Black’s lovable trademark style of comedy which is to be expected when they’re pretty much playing themselves. Fans of the band will love it as it contains lots of references from their 2001 debut album, but I get the feeling that even hardcore D fans would feel slightly disappointed, particularly since the film was released in 2006 – a full 5 years after Tenacious D’s first album hit the shelves.

The film’s main problem is that it is predictable throughout. One example is when JB is lost in the forest. We see him eating something, and as soon as he says the word “Mushroom” you know a hallucinogenic trip-out sequence is imminent. Indeed the film is dotted with gags about drug use, almost on the level of Harold and Kumar. Put simply, I think Black and Gass initially set out to make a rock epic on a par with Spinal Tap but must have come up against a brick wall early on during the writing process, sparked up a couple of joints and from then on the film is just stoner comedy. Overall, this isn’t the worst comedy I’ve ever seen but unless you’re stoned yourself when you watch it, it’s never going to be anywhere near the best. I’m giving it four and a half “bongs of destiny” out of 10.